Teddy

Nice project --> http://marknixon.com/photographs/muchloved/

I think everybody has their favorite childhood toy which comes with best memories and stories. 

So mine is about 50 years old maybe even a little bit older (it used to belong to my father). When I first found him at my grandmothers house, she didn't want me to have it. I spent few hours crying and begging her to allow me to keep it. Since that day, I never let him out of my hands. It was my best friend, I took him everywhere. Once me and my parents went to town and I forgot him at home, when we came back I apologized to Teddy and said that I will never ever will forget  him at home again. When I was 7 years old I got into fight with my sister, as a result my Teddy lost his head. As my mother was busy that day, I had to be his doctor and  I sew his head back myself. You can see that he has blue threads on his neck and he finds it hard to hold his head at the moment. As we were moving places later, I didn't saw him for many years. But we were reunited 5 or 6 years ago. Now he calmly sits on a shelf, and brings back nice childhood memories.

my own walls

what if it's all a dream

To tell the story with words, it has never worked out for me. I look over everything I've done, and I wonder is this all a reality or just some dream. Instead of knowing I keep guessing, until I'm not even sure about my own existence. What if it's all a dream I've created years ago to escape the reality. Some pieces fit together just fine, but sometimes it seems like everything is so wrong. Everything that is wrong should be fixed at some point, right? Yet it takes forever, to find the wrong or missing piece in this huge puzzle. Then I start loosing my mind over every little thing, trying to change something. When I've lost all of questions and most answers, when I don't know where to go next - there is one thing I do to forget. I turn on my favorite song, close my eyes and dance. Seems like that is the only thing that fits in this puzzle. I allow myself to fly, then sometimes answers come to me, even if I don't have the questions. That's the only way I can tell my story without words.