Wrong time

 We are so lost, the only thing we dare to want - is to be found. Find simple, like minded souls, who would dare to dream, together with us. 

We are so dark, once we close our eyes - we look for a light there. Wishing for brighter days to come.

We are so hurt, we don't dare to speak up - we choose this silence for a reason. Once we are shut, we are waiting for someone who would speak up for us.

We are so done, fighting the battles that we cannot win - we do not have it in us to loose anymore. So we leave it as is. We are the only ones that are lost.

Simple

 

Nothing

 I am a monster underneath

I am a background you cannot see

I am a voice that you never want to hear

I am someone you will forget

I am not anything at all

Last time

I want to drown in your brown eyes. Feel the electricity burn between our skins. Press me against cold wall, cover my lips with yours.
Ask me again.
Ask one more time.
I want your body next to mine. Feel your breath on the neck. Trap me between the sheets, before we go back.
Ask me.
This time I might say yes.
I want to stand there again. Hold you tight before you leave. Feel your soul touch mine when I look in your deep brown eyes.
Ask me once again.
This time I wouldn't be a maybe.

Wandering minds

Sometimes we are all alone
With all the hidden desires below
We look for eyes to meet
In our sadness brief

Someone to share our paths
And naked baths
Instead we play pretend
Without an end
Give each other akward hug
That is lost in system like a drug

Sometimes we are all alone
With all the hidden desires below
We close our eyes to dream
Take off clothes seam by seam
We cannot contain

Cannot live in pain
Play pretend
While looking for ways to mend

Sometimes we are all alone
With all the hidden desires below
We search for perfection
Yet we cannot find affection
We just want those eyes to be met
Be in love without regret
Sometimes we wish
To not be all alone

Feel like we are known

Some

Maybe the only thing we all are searching for - to find someone who will love us when the light is on.

Scared

There she goes
As she knows
Her heart and head
Lost in space
Steps too big
Scares her so
Now she is broken
All alone

Nights will roll
Days will pass
Time goes fast

Nothing ever lasts
Will she find a way
To mend her soul

 

For me

Tenth, eleventh?

Maybe fourteenth, sixteenth?

Was it the ninth?

These are the numbers I cannot recollect

And I cannot make my  heart to care

Anymore

Was it a month, two or maybe six?

I would not dare to remember

As it was just a simple day

Until I couldnt bare, to pull air in my lungs

No more

It was quiet, loud and so impossible

Fare was left to share

Another day of my life

Noone cared or dared

Only to take a knife to my heart

Did I say?

See you around? Never again?

Too much goodbyes

Never enough Hello's

Was it ten, twenty

Maybe even thirty years ago

Never changed

Always the same

Invisible

She could walk on clouds

With golden hair as sun

She could dance

Could not fly

And if she were to fall

Noone there would catch her

But empty floor

And broken shards of glass

 

Something faithful

 Solitude. It comes with its own pros and cons. I could tie my brain into reciting them all, or I could just stare to the empty wall - with an aimless mind. In a void moment, life itself looses all meaning. I am just a body, breathing, you could barely say I am alive - maybe half asleep.

But it is not enough - it is not enough to let me go.

I thrive, barely lately, I hang on some last bits of live that comes and goes in some days.

At the same time I am scared. Scared of my own laughter, since every day it gets louder and louder, while my mind gets less expressed and restrained. Words do not matter anymore, they never did. And me - I was never anything at all.

I was someone to be easily forgotten. Maybe I never existed in anyones  life. Maybe I did, for a moment short, but I cannot remember those days anymore. Past seems just a dream you dreamt, until you woke up.

All I can do is laugh. Look for a ray of hope in darkest parts of this world. I have to try not to forget to breathe. Not just lie blankly, stare at wall. Let a thought in my mind- even just a small impossible thought. Just one more impossible dream that could come true.

Ordinary

Look at these lines you left on my skin, deeper than the realms of imagination
Look at these scars you left in my soul, darker than the magic summoned

Everytime you say my name
Listen to the silence you left, whenever music of emotion came to an end
Listen to bravery you left behind, after cowardless acts of ego

Everytime you cross my mind
Feel how time is floating away out of our reach, into cliches written wrongly
Feel how nothing can change where we are, limited in our own ways

Everytime you take a breath
See how the eyes have changed in colors of the oceans deep
See how the smiles become tears you could not cry anymore

Everytime you closed the doors behind

 

In a another day

 Will there be love?

Will there be pain?

Will there be suffer?

Some restrain?

Will I be ready when it comes?

Will I stay and say I am done?

Will I say I wanna go?

Maybe stay in a vow?

Will I have a future,

When past is a vulture?

Will I be just a little insane?

Pretend I am the same?

Will I still have questions,

In his eyes reflections?

Will I drown,

When last cards will be shown?

Will there be,

Me?