20.07.20

Empty

When I close my eyes, your face is the only one I see. Back in the days when I couldn't care enough I just had to let you go. That was the way I had to go through it all, but now I just wish that you could see how I have grown. Reset, admit - complete. 
When I close my eyes, your voice is the last one I hear. In an empty space within my mind, made up conversations I rewind. Back in the days when I didn't feel like saying too much, so I had to let you speak. But now I wish that we could speak, for real, let me quit all of my old pretend. Instead we have all this empty space all around us that we just can not get to use. 
When I leave to run away, to seek answers that I already know. For a quiet moment stop avoiding all that I feel. I know what it truly is what I need. Admit to myself the secrets hidden, and remember the one who made me feel save. Only one to not put me down. So now I wish that you could be here, let me touch you, hear you, be with you. This one time, but for real to be myself with you. 

08.07.20

Uncomplete

The deeper I stare the lower I fall. I know I have gone too deep, can't go anymore. The further I go, the narrower road back seems. Will I even be able to just go back. 
Your skin fritters away everytime I reach for it. I still remember the feel of it, but only for a minute before it wears out again. I can feel it. But not completely.
These are just memories fading away, since there is not a thing around to keep them alive. Deserted - is all that comes to my own mind. Lost all pull to reality, leaving emptiness noone else could grasp but me. This is just something I cannot change, it just keeps pulling me in. Embracing me all around.
The longer I stay here, the less of chance I leave to have a way out. I don't mind at all. The deeper I stare, the more it pulls me in. It just keeps on going deeper and deeper. And so much deeper.