Pretty dresses
Dolls
Smiles and kisses
World of wonder
Luck and fun
Yet there was one between them
The one with broken eyes
And scratches
With a dress -
Not good enough for this occasion
Few tears on cheeks
And quiet dreams
The doll that was never held
There were hopes in her
For misery to end
In tiny pieces she would break
But through all the games
And playful rush
Of her existence noone knew
Silently she stayed
While noone cared
Of a girl
Behind them all
With patches

“If no one cares for you at all, do you even really exist?” 

Cassandra Clare

nice quote

”If you are a dreamer come in

If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar

A hopper, a pray-er, a magic-bean-buyer

If you're a pretender come sit by my fire

For we have some flax golden tales to spin

Come in! 

Come in!”

Kisses kept are wasted; Love is to be tasted. 

There are some you love, I know; 

Be not loathe to tell them so. 

Lips go dry and eyes grow wet 

Waiting to be warmly met. 

Keep them not in waiting yet;

 Kisses kept are wasted.

Insanity

As I go down this road

Hand in hand with my own insanity.

When my heart divides herself in two parts

One for guilt and one for being true to myself

And before I reach the end of this,

I'll let go of everything I've kept in me.

I will leave my heart to a new beginning.

As soon as I come to the end of this

Insane road of mine.

maybe I'll never know

If there are no laws saying that it is wrong is it really wrong?

What if some actions most people see as immoral, are not actually immoral, but they are just fine and won't do any harm.  So by not doing them we might just slow down our evolution? The more I think about it the more I consider that human selfishness might be at fault. Too many people I guess are just too uptight in their thinking. So I just have to just sit here and guess.

dream on

Es atļaušos sapņot par to, ka kādu dienu mēs vairs nebūsim tīrās krāsās. Kādu dienu mēs vairāk nebūsim vieni. Uz mūsu domās veidotās, pilnīgi baltās skatuves sāks līt varavīksnes daudzkrāsu lietus, un viens drosmīgais no visiem saņemsies. Saņemsies mainīt to, kā viss ir iekārtots. Mainīt vientulību, kas mīt mūsos un krāsas kas liek mums būt savādākiem nekā esam.

Viņš atdzīvinās katru, atņemot mums vienu krāsu. Vienu pa vienam tas liks mums dejot kailiem, līdz  daudzkrāsu lietus mūs visus pataisīs vienlīdz krāsainus.  Kāpēc kailiem? Jo kā gan savādāk mēs visi varam kļūt vienlīdzīgi, un redzēt ka citi ir tik pat vientuļi un ievainojami kā mēs, ka visiem ir no kaut kā bail. Mums jādejo kailiem. atļaujot mums nokrāsoties savādāk. Mums jādejo kailiem, lai redzētu, to ko mēs ikdienas cenšamies ignorēt. Mums jādejo kailiem, lai mēs iemācītos mīlēt. Mums jādejo kailiem, lai visi kļūtu kā viens un neviens vairs nebūtu viens.

how hard could it be?

Sometimes I just screw up everything I touch. Not really sure of how to get back. Do I even want to get back. Do I want to be someone who always make it look like everything is  fine, like nothing bothers me. Fake smiles and and fake words. Instead I would better run away. Somewhere where no one could ever find me or reach me. Somewhere where no one would care if sometimes I do or say something wrong. And instead of judging they would learn to forgive and forget.

still the same

Oh, you little foolish girl, you never learn don't you?  Why do you even keep fighting and trying?  Do you have the right reasons or just guesses and questions?  Maybe giving up would be the easier way out. 

I know you won't give up, you're too foolish for that I guess. But learning from mistakes is a must. Now it's too late. You can't take back anything. And next time you hurt them or yourself I'll laugh in to your face. I'll repeat to you these words: "I told you so". For now you can just keep fighting your demons inside you and keep hoping for best, but we all know that for you there is no best. 

unwritten not hidden

All these letters and words I've written to myself over and over again. Things that explained the same expectations from world with different words. Words that strangely have become reality, or my mind only fools itself to make it feel this way. Let's stay with the version that these words have come out of dark, to make it brighter. But what if...

What if the other side also comes out these letters ..

What if also the darkness I've hidden within some words decides to become real and destroy like it always does. What then?

Will I have to start all over again or maybe somewhere there, deep within blank spaces of my own letters, I've hidden another ray to bright up even the darkest spot of ink?