Once the dark rolls in. I close my eyes and drown in my sorrow tears. I want to share. Want to be weak and vulnerable, want to be softly held. 

But who would stay?

Who wouldn't say I am too much? 

Who would find the stars in my broken stormy eyes? Who would want to hear how my dull days go by? Who would look at me and see me beautiful, even when I am not? Who would find a way to love me, when I am just an inconvenience? 

Once the night rolls over. I will be just a silent noone, someone whose name you won't recall. Someone who disappeared in misty hills of who was she. Just a forgotten whisper, noone heard.

I will just go on as it is. One slow day at a time, till another night comes in.

 

Rumble

 Let the snow fall tonight all humble

              And my mind around you tumble

Want to get to you much closer

Make you in this winter warmer

Let your eyes in mine linger

                  I cannot stop to wonder

Ouh my

I do not know why

                    I am around you, so shy

Do it again

 

I want to fall down deep into your arms. Become a starless night that takes your whole soul in. Wrap myself all around, leave not a single bit of your skin free from my touch. Meet your eyes in places inbetween. So I thought that was all we could.

Instead I am a river lost, floating far away, to places noone dares to go anynore. Or am I a rock, cold and unbreakable in my own mistakes. I am a vase you broke in a haste, then walked away without a second glance. Now you won't even dare to look to my face. I guess you didn't know that I could.

Even

I will always wonder where you went.
I will always care.
Even when our lives are bent.

I will always write my letters to you.
I will always share.
My letters your eyes never be able to pursue

I will always wonder where you went
I will always care
Even if my letters stay here unsent

All that breaks

 Sometimes it is just me, setting up myself for a pain unreal. I dont think I could have ever told him, whenever I closed my eyes. Did not even matter if I kept them open anymore. Could not even admit this to myself.

My mind, my wild thoughts - they travel far away into his arms.
Sometimes I do not even notice anymore, until I am all awake.
Yet if I seem to find nothing else to hold down on to, just one little reason why I stay here. Even when I know all the good times are gone, I will let my mind wander. Seeking far away for a feeling lost, until I break again. It was just me that let it all slip away. Yet still I hope maybe...
Maybe...
Just maybe for one real thing.

Now

Every time I lay down next to her. I gaze deep into her eyes, till I feel myself falling so deep into them. My mind travels all over and over looking for all the mindful places, where we could be just us.

Silence, maybe a starry night, and a bloody moon. A night warm enough to lose our minds. Might as well take off these clothes, just rip them away ferociously. We dont want anything to restrain us. I want to feel what she feels. Feel the breath of her's on the neck of mine. Gently, slowly she traces her fingers all along my skin. As if that is something she has craved for so long, so delicate is her touch.  

Time stops, and the world out there can wait a little longer. I just want to stay here for one long eternity. Feel her skin next to mine, hear every breath she takes, every time she shakes and moves in a gentle way. This is the only time, where we create more time for us. 

Neither of us want to go, we want to keep the fire in this passion alive. I kiss her cautiosly, kinda sweetly, I enjoy her every minute that she is in my arms. Tonight might never end, if we never push the brakes to our feelings. It will linger on and on, and on forever...

Wrong time

 We are so lost, the only thing we dare to want - is to be found. Find simple, like minded souls, who would dare to dream, together with us. 

We are so dark, once we close our eyes - we look for a light there. Wishing for brighter days to come.

We are so hurt, we don't dare to speak up - we choose this silence for a reason. Once we are shut, we are waiting for someone who would speak up for us.

We are so done, fighting the battles that we cannot win - we do not have it in us to loose anymore. So we leave it as is. We are the only ones that are lost.

Simple

 

Nothing

 I am a monster underneath

I am a background you cannot see

I am a voice that you never want to hear

I am someone you will forget

I am not anything at all