Charlotte Eriksson

But I was young
and didn’t know better
and someone should have told me to capture every second
every kiss & every night
Because now I’m sitting here alone and it’s getting really hard to breath because tears are growing in my throat and they want to break out, but there are people
watching
and I just want to be somewhere silent
somewhere still
But still I don’t want to be alone because I’m scared and lonely
and I don’t understand
Because I was alone my whole life
My whole life
I was so damn lonely and I was content with that
because I liked myself and my own company 
and I didn’t need anyone
I thought
But then there was you .. ...

So, someone should have told me that love is for those few brave who can handle the unbearable emptiness,
the unbearable guilt and lack of oneself,
Because I lost myself to someone I love
and I might get myself back one day
but it will take time, it will take time.

This is gonna take some time.

I wish someone would have told me this.
Someone should have told me this.

When no longer..

Only these eyes can see in the dark. Where everything is still and quiet that even we fear to speak. But the shadows still play with rays of light that escaped from under, making it a little less scary. In the deepest dark, something beats in a slow unforgetable rhythm. What could it be? Coming from deepest darkest parts of this place. Up above, or down under, to the right, left? Sound that fills this void, but where is it coming from? 
Arms reach to get something from out of under. Hidden in the ashes, only these eyes could find. Oh, my heart. Would you accept it in this state that it is? All dark and burned out, but into ashes you can see some tiny parts of it beating, still pure, still alive and strugling. That is all I can offer, all the beautiful parts are gone.
Although, sometimes darkness can be the most beautiful thing in this world. So if even shadows can learn to dance with light, would you dare to take care of my heart?

I feel like a trapped cat in a box

I own nothing.
Everything just comes and goes.And when I can't anymore I come here for retreat.
I own nothing, but these words. 

I just need to hear you

With me you get what you get. I stay true to things that I believe in. 
Take it or leave it.
Hello :)
Hello *look away*
Hello *walk away*
I dare you, to try me, see who am I, what makes my fire keep burning in the darkness I drag with me.
Find out what stones and wires I am made off. What jewels you could make of me, what I could draw into you.
If you scare yourself away you might never know. And it is always better to try and know for sure, than to leave and wonder if this had any tommorow.
With me you get what you get.
Hello :) *deep, deep voice echoes in my mind*
Hello *look away, I'm scared*
Hello *can't wait to see you tommorow*

We are we going with this?

Are you there yet? Are you there yet? 

Stop asking please will you. One of the highest pleasures is not about destination, but the journey you make to get there. I want to enjoy every second, minute or hour that we do. Feel the tenderness and naive akwardness off all this. Every stroke, every small move we make. Simplicity, that makes everything so complicated. Every breath, and every arch, every part that touches one another. And we know we can't have this forever, not even for a single day. 

So why not make this second, minute or hour count? Stop with these useless questions, worries and apologies. It's not about our final destination. It's about how we choose to get there while enjoying this extraordinary pleasure.

Maybe we will be, just in another lifetime, or maybe...

When the song is over. We don't stop. We have our own music between us. You guide me your way. On dark cobbled street, just silent laterns guiding your way. A place we walked, not once or twice. Not parting apart.

Tell me things I don't hear at all. Whisper about something I did, did I? My heartbeat is way too loud.Is it slowing down, is time stopping? Slowly, a little suprised, bit kinda expected, you pin me to the cold aged wall. Through my skin I can count every brick, cold getting through to every single bone of mine. I can feel your warmth and soft arms on me. Was something cold touching me a moment before, or was it ages ago. And time suddenly has stopped. 

You and me, our eyes meet. Just like back in the day when we were forbiden, when we had just one look and knew we couldn't. I look so deep, but my heart is about to jump out of its place. Run away, jump up and down, drive away my own sanity. Slowly, ouh so slow, our lips get closer. I can feel you breathe, I can feel you FEEL. And just a little bit till our lips meet for the first time...

NO, NO, NO, this was not a dream I wanted to wake up from. I've always been curious what I feel for you. We are not forbiden anymore, just time drove us apart. What were we? Who was I to you? Who were you? All moments we shared, a passion moments here and there. But not meant to be, always we were busy with someone else in our lives. So all we had were these looks, and little strokes on our skins, and I keep some words that you laid on me. Just a simple look from you watching my back, is what I miss the most. Maybe if we would be. Maybe if we could be. Maybe we would've been something. Maybe nothing. 

These words don't come easy. I wrote, rewrote, read and deleted. Today for the first time I write to you. You deserved this a long time ago, even if we grew apart way too far, for way too long.

If you ignore someone, you make a conscious choice to communicate that they are not important. 

Come but Go

Soft

Softer

A little bit softer

One

Two

Three we step

Sail

Can't fail

Out of place it feels

Leave

A little

Memory for me

Find

It later

Hidden in depths of phone

Can't

Just can't

Erase this feeling yet

I make no sense, Nr2 to make me cry

Do I write for you, or for me?
Shake
Shake my head vigoruosly
Forget till I come to another world
Where the things that could have been become the ones that they are
But this is not a Funland
Impulsing up and down on a ferris wheel
Breaking down my own memory
Coming back to the same old spot
Shake
Shake
Shake

F*** me

So many words I can't put into words
I'm distorted into this so called reality
Passing images by my eyes, while im stuck
still
Unfinished puzzle ghosts left on the floor
Where the fuck is that last piece missing?
One, and two, and three stepping
Stepping all over me
No mercy in us, in the words I say
How about the letter I wrote to myself
When the fuck will it arrive?
You begged for mercy, I begged for more
But the closer we got, the further we strayed
Why the fuck can't stop destroying myself, and you tonight?