happy every day

Another year has past. 

All I can say this has been a wonderful year. 

I have acquired many new friends, have done some exciting things.

 I've grown a lot - as a person, as a dancer.

 I'm sure the next year will be just as exciting.

Wish you all to have an amazing next year, and I hope your most desired wishes come true!

I'm just a fool

At days like these who knows what matters anymore. What is right or wrong? Where is the truth and where are the lies? I've doubted people so many times and just this one time I tried not to. From this day on, I'm not sure how to trust people anymore. It makes me think of who I am. It makes me question myself. I don't even know if it's alright for me to feel bad. Knowing  that people consider me as a bad character. What if they are right?  When the pain bleeds through my blood, I try my best not to cry. One moment I can be in paradise, but next I'm frightened from myself. Instead of listening to my thoughts I turn on some stupid love songs. Instead of sleeping I keep myself up, trying to keep all the nightmares away. I wish I could erase some memories, and some feelings. I'm a fool. I'm a fool a little too much. I just don't know why.

maybe just one more

As a shadow creature I crawl out through the darkness. When you expect it the least I surprise you in the middle of the night. But that one time you surprised me, and now crawling through shadows don't seem the same anymore, when only thing on my mind is you. And there I go again, tattooing your name all over my heart.  And I know that at the same place where we met the first time, you'll be there. But only one condition you have made - I have to drop my shadows, and see the sunrise with you.

dreamy mood

one solution

I was lying in my bed, waiting for this day to end. Waiting for next morning for sun to come up and start a new day. Every click of a clock went through my soul. Instead of moving forward it felt like time was moving backwards. Slower and slower it kept hitting me. I tried to close my eyes forget and sleep, but this image couldn't get out of my head. I tried to get my attention to something else, but I always came back. Those were endless hours of annoying waiting. And it repeatedly happened night after night. Until once it struck me - a simple solution. I found a way to get my peace back.

Now it seems peaceful, finally it's silence. The clock is moved to another room.  

sound

In these hard days a girl like her sometimes feels like some stranger roaming the world. Instead standing up tall, she sits down on a lonely chair. And lets imagine that is the last thing she has. Half dark room, with only one ray of light, she's hoping that maybe... You can hear her breathe in all emotions she has kept within her. All hopes for him. Hopes that one day his lips will touch her sensitive body. That one day instead of lying in this dirt around her, she'll be able to breathe free. And after a while when moment has past, people seem to get further and further away from her. Even simple Hello and Goodbye can become something frustrating. Although story of her dead cat is more disturbing to me. It becomes nothing for her and people around.

one of the best

Wrong or right, it won't matter. As long as I feel good about this today, nothing else matters. Nobody knows what tomorrow will bring for us, but today it's just a little thought to smile about. All the other unimportant earthly things disappear. My lonely heart feels in need for this.

P.S. My dear, you know how I always know, so this time I've either gone crazy or it eventually might become reality.

Teddy

Nice project --> http://marknixon.com/photographs/muchloved/

I think everybody has their favorite childhood toy which comes with best memories and stories. 

So mine is about 50 years old maybe even a little bit older (it used to belong to my father). When I first found him at my grandmothers house, she didn't want me to have it. I spent few hours crying and begging her to allow me to keep it. Since that day, I never let him out of my hands. It was my best friend, I took him everywhere. Once me and my parents went to town and I forgot him at home, when we came back I apologized to Teddy and said that I will never ever will forget  him at home again. When I was 7 years old I got into fight with my sister, as a result my Teddy lost his head. As my mother was busy that day, I had to be his doctor and  I sew his head back myself. You can see that he has blue threads on his neck and he finds it hard to hold his head at the moment. As we were moving places later, I didn't saw him for many years. But we were reunited 5 or 6 years ago. Now he calmly sits on a shelf, and brings back nice childhood memories.

my own walls

what if it's all a dream

To tell the story with words, it has never worked out for me. I look over everything I've done, and I wonder is this all a reality or just some dream. Instead of knowing I keep guessing, until I'm not even sure about my own existence. What if it's all a dream I've created years ago to escape the reality. Some pieces fit together just fine, but sometimes it seems like everything is so wrong. Everything that is wrong should be fixed at some point, right? Yet it takes forever, to find the wrong or missing piece in this huge puzzle. Then I start loosing my mind over every little thing, trying to change something. When I've lost all of questions and most answers, when I don't know where to go next - there is one thing I do to forget. I turn on my favorite song, close my eyes and dance. Seems like that is the only thing that fits in this puzzle. I allow myself to fly, then sometimes answers come to me, even if I don't have the questions. That's the only way I can tell my story without words.