Leave some light on

Am I a trouble you take?
Why don't you let go?
I pull you out in these dark streets, to twist and twirl. Loose my own way. And for an hour be young, wild and free. Yet every conversation you bring up takes me back.
Why don't you let go?
I won't be your guide in the dark. I'm the one to roll down the hill. Will pull you along, without a doubt. I'm the one to turn off all the lights, to make it even darker. Rush myself in the nearest wall, without a lighthouse to guide me, over and over again.
Why you keep running along with me?
Why you fall with me?

That night again

Best memories I have are within summer rain. People hide and run from it, but I always endure it.
Only in rain I can dance at 2am on an empty street with a stranger I just met, even if I won't meet him ever again.
Have adventures I never thought I will have, in deep woods or on busy city street.
Or I can stand in darkness, letting rain pour over me and wash away all hurt and anger.
I can talk to my muse, even if he wont speak back.
I can cry, and not feel ashamed that I failed again.
I love the summer rain, that is me being true to myself.
When are you true to yourself?

S H E. I'm too hazed

I let myself question the whole being of myself. Did I overthink the parts of my life, or maybe I was too busy to overlook who I am. Being in denial my whole life, and this feeling in me makes me wonder again. Could I act on it if the chance provides itself? And certainly I wish to speak to someone about this, but well I'm scared of being misunderstood.
Ouh, dear me, stop overthinking, that makes the whole situation even worse.

Hopefully by the time I die, these sinners fill up hell so much, that there wouldn't be left any place for me.

Tell me when its over

You saw tears watering up my eyes, I had to hide them from you. I turned around as a child hoping that you wouldn't notice. You asked if I'm alright, I said yes. You put your arm on my shoulder and with a concerned voice asked me am I really alright. I just didn't know what I was expected to say.
I could've said that I feel as empty as this room. How my own voice echoes in this room until I hate hearing myself speak. How my breaths seem too long to take and I just don't want to take them anymore. Every squeek and tiny sound in the middle of night keeps me awake, frightened that those hell hounds would come chasing me. Even if I knew it was all just in my head. I was just silently begging for help, but when I asked for it aloud everyone just brushed it off and said that's just how we all feel. I screamed inside my head. Help me! Help me!
I might as well keep crying. Everything is just in my head. Even you are just a plot of my imagination, that just keeps me less alone at moments like this. I know I won't get help, everyone will ignore me cause they have never thought much of me. And why would they waste even just a second of their precious time on me. I'll just keep filling this emptiness with my long breaths, and keep hating my own voice. One day I might as well just stop.

And in the end all that is left of us, are just stories.

Keeping secrets

Talk to me.
What's on your mind, what makes me awake tonight?
Talk to me one more time, about future and lets forget the past of ours that held us back.
Before you roll away to the other side, I want to look deeper in your eyes to see that this is real.
Tell me.
What you want to be, I tell you who I am.
Tell me things only you know, repeat and tell me to forget, but I never will forget.
Before I let you go one more time, may your dreams be full with wonders, and I'll brush your naked skin with my words.
Be with me.
As if of tommorow won't we be anymore.
Be with me so simply, that the world go wild.
Do you?
Only make me feel excited for today, I feel you boiling me up, as the truth I can give you.
Do you feel how I feel for you, darling?

It takes time ro remember who I am

Say what you mean, noone will hear anyway

Fools and beggars
One after million, millions after one
Roaming this forgetfull realm
Gazing out to stars to heal
Easily it is to forget
The ones we let down

Messed up hair on her head
Easily it is to let her go

Even all stars have fallen
At the darkest days
Silently she stays a fool and a beggar
In this realm stuck forever
Lying to herself and others
You just have to forget easily

I never wrote to you before

I don't think I ever actually saw your eyes, to know how good or bad you were. Don't blame me though, I was too young, too naive. Rushing to live my life that I might have just forgotten to stop. Yet when I hear you asking for me, it always crosses my mind. In a world full of people who don't care, why is it that you care? Maybe I even hurt you a bit, maybe I feel sorry for that. Don't blame me though, I was too reckless, too scared. Rushing to live my life, that I might have forgotten that others might be living in it too. Maybe I would like a redo, maybe if times were different I would want to actually know who you really are. Don't blame me though, I've grown and I know, I made mistakes. Thats just a part of the lives that we live.